Empty Nesters …Take Control of your life again..once you’ve congratulated yourself on a Job well done. Now’s the time to spoil yourself and pat your self on the back for a ‘job very well done ‘ in launching your offspring out into the world of value spaghetti and pot noodles plus the odd lecture, says Karen Perkins.
Karen Perkins is a business and life coach who created Sheffield’s first and only Empty Nesters Club three years ago. This year she has also become an empty nester herself.
“My daughter is now 19 and last year she finished her A levels. Luckily for me last year she decided to do graphic design business from my sofa, and have a gap yearand get a job to fund travelling, before leaving home. So I am facing the empty nest feeling myself this year. My son left a couple of years ago, and is enjoying Leeds Beckett Uni . We keep seamlessly in touch by Skype! Last year I joked about this with my friends whose kids were ‘really ‘ leaving for Uni last September but soon stopped joking and listened to what they had to say. There was a real mixture of sadness at the end or an era, trepidation for their kids going out into the world with a bump from their cosy 6th form existence! Kids these days have a much more ‘friends’ relationship with their parent/s so compared to when i went to Uni ,and I could not wait to leave ,and my parent just saw it as a stage of life , nowadays there seems to be more of a wrench ! That is until they arrive back for weekends with their washing and to raid the fridge! So mixed emotions …guilt at feeling glad and liberated that they have gone …a new phase of life both for couples and single parents! Some couples fearing being left alone to face reality, others planning exciting new adventures. As one of my friends said ‘I know exactly which mountain I am going to go climbing on with my partner when our last teenager leaves home !’ Lucky her !
I spoke to a friend who said she had spent the first few weeks after her last child had gone to college, arriving back from work and bursting into tears in the kitchen. She really missed her daughter and I could see it still upset her, though she was very proud too.
I have to report that my daughter sailed off into the Leeds Social scene… I gave a her a leaving pressie of 4 tickets to gigs in Leeds to help her student budget! I miss her but I am enjoying luxuriating in a tidy house and healthy meals again! I feel like it’s a new era.to enjoy her tales of Uni, but to grow my Coaching and Social media business. It’s an exciting phase for both me and my offspring!
That is the only time being a single parent actually helps you…as you are used to the kids spending time away from you on a regular basis, so it’s a bit like more of that .
Some people plan ahead for this new phase, others don’t until it hits them. I realised my teens were using me more as a resident chef, cashpoint and taxi driver, so that was why I started my life, career and social media coaching business ,which I could fit around school, part time job and helping them with homework, applications etc. I am lucky as I have had a transition period, so have planned some activities ‘just for me ‘ now the last one has finally left !
Many people have older relatives and need time to adjust to no-one at home to avoid transferring their caring role on to them straight from their teenagers! There are other issues that need help. Financial worries for example…many parents lose their tax credits and child benefit, and have to subsidise their offspring at college or apprenticeship. So they may need to be creative about making the most of their new freedoms! Some may feel depressed as relationship difficulties rear their head once the kids have moved on.
Learning how to spoil yourself, and plan things to do so as not to waste that fantastic 10-15 years from when they leave til retirement is an aim of the Empty Nesters club !! I do not want to waste a second ! That’s why we set up the Empty Nesters Club …to help people to do just that. We went on Radio Sheffield to talk about it with @fayefork & Rotherham Hospice .
We wanted to share our experiences about setting up businesses, having a great work life balance and looking after yourself. I have met so many women through my networking that have set up as their kids got older and left home… i have also met people who are worried about the job situation at the moment ,and may be looking for a chance to change direction ,now they are empty nesters ..and have much more time to fill. Having a regular walking/networking /business building empowering session with others will hopefully help people to make the most of the opportunities being an empty nester brings…without the guilt !
I have organised a Free Drop In Careers and CV workshops for EmptyNesters with careers guidance from experts . The next ones are Thurs Jan 14th & Tues Feb 16th at Somewhere Else café , Sheffield S11. 10.30 til 12.30 .
We wanted to help people reach their potential after having a pampering session ‘just for them ‘ to have a bit of TLC and come to terms with their kids leaving home .Now your kids have left home for college or Uni , its time to cheer yourself up,calm yourself down and plan a brilliant new era !
Come and be pampered at our coffee meet ups, Bake-offs, Speed Datewalks and Empty Nester events with TLC Lifecoaching tasters and for those embarking on a new venture with all that time a CV / Career makeover .
Come and meet us, treat yourself to a latte and salty choc millionaires slice at Somewhere Else Cafe on Ecclesall Rd . ( @somewhereelsec on Twitter ) Tel Karen on 07971 881251 to book a place . Or via www.karenperkinslifecoach.co.uk<http://www.karenperkinslifecoach.co.uk>
Register by Liking us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/EmptynestersClub/179865278764348?ref=hl